Sometimes divorce is inevitable, but that doesn't make it any easier to handle. In fact, divorce is considered to be one of the biggest stressors a person can encounter. You don't have to take that lying down, though. It's possible to stay serene at least most of the time even during this difficult phase of life. Follow these tips to remain calm and carry on with the divorce proceedings.
Establish Clear Boundaries
At the start of the divorce process, be sure to establish clear boundaries with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. This doesn't have to be communicated in a way that inspires resentment. Simply explain that you are establishing boundaries for your own healing. If your ex doesn't understand that, it's not your problem. Consider the following examples of setting healthy boundaries:
- Discuss how much flexibility you have when it comes to pick-up and drop-off times with your kids. Thoroughly explain your expectations and stick to what you establish.
- Let your ex know when and how you want to be contacted. If talking on the phone or seeing your ex in person is too painful, you may opt to stick to mostly communicating through email for the time being. That's okay. Communicate your needs and stand up for them.
- Decide how much information you want to divulge to your ex about your evolving lifestyle. Things may change rapidly as soon as you start a new life, and you get to decide how much you want to share with your ex.
Make Self-Care a Priority
Although being proactive about self-care is important at every stage of life, it can be a lifesaver during your divorce proceedings. You want to be more adamant about making it a priority in your life than you ever have been before. You may want to try all of the following methods of self-care:
- When the stress from a divorce starts to heat up, cool off by working out. This can be anything that's fun for you, whether it's a dip in the pool, a vigorous run, a peaceful Yoga class, or fun cardio class.
- Eat well. When you are going through a divorce, it can be tempting to skip meals or eat fast food on the run. Combat that temptation by preparing healthy meals in advance when possible. Also, keep healthy snacks in the house to make sure that eating well is as convenient as possible.
- Read books that will empower you to heal. Hundreds of self-help books are available, so look until you find just the right books that empower you to work on the areas of your life that you want to improve.
- Go talk to a therapist. Keep in mind that all aspects of your being are likely to be affected by your divorce, so be mindful to learn about taking great care of yourself on a spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical level.
Finally, keep in mind that you are in control of your serenity, so try to be proactive about protecting yourself from things that you know will be stressful. No matter how intent your ex may be on trying to upset you, keep your focus on moving on and building the life you want for yourself going forward.
For more help with your actual divorce case, communicating with a family lawyer in your area can greatly help to reduce stress and ensure you can get through the case with better understanding and assistance.